Writer’s Block Wreckage

630_360_1505107252-2748.jpgTo me, saying the words “writer’s block” is like muttering a curse. I am not gonna deny I’ve been there before though. I had more complications when writing than I would like to admit. But my biggest one was because of the problems in my story.

When I began writing The Forest of Fayleen, I stopped about halfway through. I was stuck. I had no clue what to do or where to go to get to my expected ending. (Yes, I had written the ending before finishing the novel.) But I did probably the stupidest thing I’ve ever done. (And that’s saying a lot. I’ve done many stupid things with my older brothers.) I took a break from writing, thinking that when it finally hit me how I could go with it from here, I would just restart. Oops.

It doesn’t really work that way. And once you get stuck, well, it’s hard to get out of the mud. My main problem though, happened to be that last thing I had written, which was a flashback/nightmare happening to Lane. And by trying to keep going, I just kept getting more and more lost in that scene. It became real. I had written a group of flashbacks in this story, and every time I would read over them, it became more and more life-like to me. I could feel the emotions. I could see the tears in the loved ones’ eyes as they watched the towers collapse. And throughout my month long break, I had problems with 9/11 nightmares too. Just off of YouTube videos and stories.

I was born in 2004 and had never heard of 9/11 until I was about eleven years old. A year before I wrote this book. I struggled with this. A lot. Writing about something that you’ve never seen is hard. Writing about something that occurred before you were even alive, is harder. But writing about love, loss, and doing the necessary research on a terror attack that your character was a part of- that’s the worst of all.

I don’t even remember why I placed Lane at that scene. I don’t know why I chose 9/11 Courage to be my main theme. I don’t know why I was hurting so much when I wrote it. But God did. This was his way of curing my writer’s block, and leading me to let Him into my story. This was no longer my story. He was guiding my fingers to write what He wanted. I had to turn to him for help, because there was no way I could fix this myself. There was no way that Lane would make it without my help. And I couldn’t help her without helping myself. So I began writing again. I just wrote little scenes on the side, each taking a different path, and chose which one fit the best. Then I was on it again. And as I helped her through her struggles, I got through as well.

The nightmares went away, and even though I still have an occasional struggle with them, I have God on my side. He is my courage. He helped me find my own as Lane  found her’s in him also. God is courage. And when I led my character to victory in Him, we conquered the Writer’s Block.
-Lorryn Holt

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